We spoke to clinical psychologist, Dr. Ramani Durvasula, about the ways a family can stay strong when a cancer diagnosis happens. Here is what she had to say:

1. Understanding Levels of Grief
There are multiple levels of grief and anger. These are going to vary developmentally and experientially across the family. The patient will be facing one set of issues, the spouse/partner one set, children are quite complicated as it depends on age - grown children who live outside the house are quite different than young children who will be dealing with very different issues. So a key is to work with the oncology team, which hopefully has a social worker to not just make this all about the person with cancer, but all members of the family and to ensure that you have access to referrals, support, and information that is appropriate at all levels of the family.

2. Be Organized
Medical appointments, records, insurance, medications require organization - and this may require assistance with housework, healthy members of the family ensuring that things are in their place and running smoothly.

3. Retain Some Normalcy
Don't turn the home into a satellite hospital -have dinner together, play board games, do the things you do together, and really bring some value to that time.

4. Turn to Spiritual Resources
Recognizing that every family relies on this differentially - some are nonbelievers, some will need their parish/temple/mosque community. If it feels ok - turn to leaders in your religious community as a family if that feels right.

5. Talk and Listen
Denial is a normal phase of mourning - but can be scary for those who do want to talk. It may feel hard, but give each other that time, and if needed bring in the professionals and turn to licensed mental health professionals who have expertise in working with patients with cancer and their families.

6. Keep Everyone In The Loop
This can be very important if a family is scattered across the country. Some families may do this via email, some families may do Skype calls together, some families may even have private websites to post test results to. Each family knows what is comfortable -but the less they have to hassle the patient but keep abreast, it may be helpful for all concerned, and address those feelings of helplessness that are all to common in family members of a person with cancer.

7. Choose a Family "Go-To"
Some families have that person who makes a good "spokesperson" and can stand the litany of questions, well wishes and insensitive comments. If outsiders know there is somewhere they can go to get information and offer their words, sometimes this can shield the family from lots of excess nonsense they don't want to deal with at that time.

Every family is different, and ultimately should be working with a social worker or other mental health worker that is typically part of a good oncology team to devise strategies that are best for them.

Dr. Ramani is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology. Drawing upon her years of clinical experience, graduate and undergraduate teaching, and published research - she is masterful at taking all things psychological and making them interesting and understandable for a wide variety of audiences. Her versatility makes her a useful presenter for audiences ranging from adolescents to professionals, laypeople to mental health professionals.

 This is a common question after the delivery of bad news, especially with something as life changing as a cancer diagnosis. Coping with cancer is not easy. There has also never been a manual written with absolute, specific directions on how to cope with being diagnosed with cancer. Some people turn to their family and friends for support, while other turn to religion and prayer.

Shirley Corder, a former nurse and breast cancer survivor, said, "People with a firm belief in God cope far better with adversity than those who don't. Those with a true faith will find comfort through prayer and in the knowledge that others are praying for them.”

In a study of cancer patients at the University of Michigan Medical Center, 93% claimed their faith increased their ability to be hopeful," Corder said. "In another study, 231 end-stage cancer patients were given a choice of 28 options concerning what most maintained their quality of life. The most common response was their relationship with God."

However, not everybody's faith increases after being diagnosed with cancer. Author and current cancer patient Harvey Gould said he didn't become more religious after being diagnosed with cancer, but that his resilience in fighting the disease has come from his religious upbringing.

"Living with cancer did not make me become more religious in any formalistic way and my coping has been more through my wife’s love and strength than through attendance at religious services-- and my wife is Irish Catholic," Gould said. "However, a primary underlying value of my faith— that life is a God-given creation that shouldn’t be wasted—emerged in me with a renewed strength. That conviction combined with my love for my wife and that I don’t want to leave her prematurely impels me to undergo procedures I’d not otherwise be willing to endure. And here I remain, twelve years post diagnosis, still reveling in the gift of life and the love of my wife."

Others, such as Canadian Visual Artist Robert Brooks, feel religion shouldn't even be part of a cancer discussion. Brooks' father died of cancer when he was a teenager and he said he believes religion and prayer do not help during the healing and coping processes of cancer.

"Religion makes things worse. Always. It gives you a false sense of security," Brooks said.

Brooks went on to cite an article from the New York Times that covered a study conducted on the actual power of prayer in 2006.

"Prayers offered by strangers had no effect on the recovery of people who were undergoing heart surgery, a large and long-awaited study has found. And patients who knew they were being prayed for had a higher rate of post-operative complications like abnormal heart rhythms, perhaps because of the expectations the prayers created, the researchers suggested," NY Times Reporter Benedict Carey said in his 2006 article.

The relationship between a cancer patient and his religion varies from person to person. Some people become more religious after being diagnosed with cancer, while others show no change in level of devotion. Meanwhile, others believe religion and prayer only make things worse for cancer patients. What are your thoughts? Do you believe people tend to become more/less religious after being diagnosed with cancer? Are religion and prayer helpful or detrimental for cancer patients and their families? Let us know by commenting and sharing with the MCA community on Facebook and Twitter.